I want to dream big.
I want to rise above.
I want to invest in people.
I want to create.
I want to love people like they have not seen love before.
I want to be a part of a movement.
I want to see change.
I want to see community.
I want to invest in something bigger than myself.
My small little brain has been wrapping it's mind around it's future career path for as long as I can remember.
In the 3rd grade, we were assigned a task that entailed listing and drawing a picture of three different careers we might like to grow up to do. I chose a writer, a pianist, and an artist.
In the 10th grade, we had to write an essay on the timeline of our lives. At the end of our timeline included future plans, and we were required to write about what career path we anticipated taking. I wrote about wanting to be a missionary.
In the 12th grade, we took a career test to see how our personalities and interests correlated with possible career paths. My results were in the Social Services field.
Upon entering college my freshman year, I was required to choose a major. This is not something that I could do easily. I opted into the only thing I was sure about-- not knowing. I became an Undeclared major in the College of Liberal Arts.
My second semester of freshman year, since I was still unsure of my future career, I was advised to divide my schedule between Business classes and Education classes. I quickly found out that Business was not my strong suit, and found God pulling me to continue in Education.
In the Fall of 2011, I completed student teaching and graduated in Elementary Education.
In the Spring of 2012, I began and completed a portion of an Art add-on certification program.
In May of 2012, I sit on the sofa of my parents house Googling non-profit organizations careers.
I come across an article called, "Are Non-Profit Organizations For You?"
The article lists the following 14 questions to ask yourself to find out if non-profits are for you:
1. Is it important for you to work for a cause?
2. Do you want to do something good for society?
3. Are you more humanitarian than materialistic?
4. Do you have a well-developed sense of right and
wrong?
5. Do you have strong ideals?
6. Do you like people?
7. Are you flexible? Creative?
8. Would you prefer working for an organization to
which you feel personally committed?
9. Do you want to be part of a team effort?
10. Do intangible rewards truly mean more to you than
money?
11. Would you rather be a generalist than a specialist?
12. Are you comfortable working in casual clothing?
13. Do you want the opportunity to have sole
responsibility for a project?
14. Does your self-image fit a “non-corporate” work
environment?
Here I sit, answering a big fat YES to every single one of those questions; wondering if I have been walking the wrong path for the last 4 years.
I have so many questions. Looking back on my childhood, I never wanted to be a teacher. Yet I felt God pushing me to be a teacher throughout college. People affirmed me on my teacher-like qualities and encouraged me that I would be an excellent teacher. Student teaching was the worst experience I have ever gone through. I could not escape. Every day I was tempted to run out of the front doors screaming to never return-- but one thing encouraged me to push through; it was a soft daily whispering from the Lord-- "This too shall pass."
And it did. It has passed and I will never look back. The Lord continued to reveal to me that I didn't have to teach in a traditional classroom setting. This filled my heart with so much joy! The Lord revealed that I should explore my creative abilities-- For myself, for Him, and for the children that I would teach one day. I researched and discovered the All-Level Add-On Certification program for Art Education. I would stay in school for 30 more hours to complete this program.
At that point, I had accepted a new vision of potentially teaching Elementary or Middle School art classes one day. I was content and happy with this new vision. Throughout the semester I continue to substitute for Lafayette Parish. When I enter the schools to substitute, I do not feel a peace about one day teaching in these schools. My heart is becoming more and more unsettled-- Why am I not happy about teaching?
I recently feel a tugging on my mind and soul and heart and spirit and subconscious and whatever other entity feels strong emotions--to explore options of non-profit organization career paths. I have been researching, talking to people, and praying. I feel excited and yet a heavy heart about this new dream.
My fear is that I will miss hearing from God. That I have missed hearing from Him since I was a little girl. My prayer is that His desires for me will become my desires. That it will be so clear what He wants me to do that I will not doubt for a second.
I have been listening. I have been following. I will continue to listen and continue to follow.
